I'm alive I swear

Hey y'all.

I'm alive, I swear. Life has been happening. Quite a bit of life has been happening. A whole year of life has been happening. I moved to Richmond, have been working my butt off at VCU Arts, have been searching for work and internships, and joined a fight team and have been training ever since.

More posts to come soon

Wineberry Pie

As promised, I give you some food porn from the first successful wineberry project of the year. I didn't record as much as I had hoped because I was too busy making/eating the pie, but there we go.

Wineberry Pie, people! ITS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVARRR. It is basically straight up, XXX, hard-core flavor porn. Your taste buds will need to be censored afterwards.

Hyperbole-lacking version: basically its like a sour cherry pie with more zing.

If this pie was a chick she'd be BABEraham Lincoln.

Okay so if you want a recipe, I sorta threw one together from some old Better Homes and Gardens cookbook recipes for cherry pie and for raspberry pie. Most berry pies call for sugar and cornstarch to be mixed in with a bunch of berries and then placed into a pie shell; when the pie cooks, the sugar and cornstarch thickens with the juices of the berries. These pies are juicy and light. If you want a gooey pie like you'll get with a store-bought cherry pie, you need to make additional pie filling.  I prefer the gooey pies, but they do require a little bit more work and berries.

I apologize for any lack of exact measures if I don't have exact measures.

(This particular recipe needs about 2 to 2 1/2 lbs of berries.)

PREHEAT OVEN TO 375F


Pie Crust

Use whatever recipe you want for a basic flaky pie crust, but most of them look the same. In general, a pie crust is made by cutting cold lard or shortening into all-purpose flour mixed with some salt until the fat from the shortening is evenly distributed. Use a pastry cutter or knife for this process and not your fingers. You should get a crumbly texture at that point; most recipes say to stop mixing once the flour clumps reach a pea-like consistency. Then moisture must be introduced to the lard-flour mix - a few tablespoons of ice water tossed into the mixture with a fork should do the trick. Once everything looks right, you use a rolling pin to get the dough flat and in shape.

a friend of mine assisting in the dough rolling

Remember to use cold shortening or lard instead of butter and limit the amount that your hands touch the dough. If you use butter instead of lard/shortening, the dough will act like a shortbread instead of a pie crust, and the oils from your skin can make the crust chewy instead of flaky.


Wineberry Filling

The Goo

1 cup wineberry juice (made from crushing around 1 lb of wineberries and straining the juice for seeds)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
dash of salt

Combine these ingredients in a small pot or saucepan and heat it up; the recipe I used called for medium heat but I put my stove on medium-high. Stir the mixture frequently. The cornstarch and sugar will thicken with the jucie and turn into a goo; once it gets to that point, remove from heat and stir for another minute. Taste and see if it is to your liking. It may be rather sweet at this point, but once the pie gets cooked with more berries, the sweetness should give way to a zing.

remember to wash off your berries before use!

early stages of goo preparation

Putting it all together

While still warm, fold your goo in with around 1+ lb of fresh wineberries until everything looks evenly mixed. Pour the filling into a 9-inch pie pan line with pie crust dough. If you are using a second crust on top, make sure to cut vents into the top. (We had extra dough from our bottom layer so we took the Abraham Lincoln cookie cutter of ours and some hearts and threw those shapes on top.)

the goo mixed in with a lb of fresh berries to make the complete filling. *drool*

Cover the edges of the pie with aluminum foil and cook for 25 minutes. After that, remove the aluminum foil and cook for another 25 to 30 minutes or until the filling is bubbling over and the crust looks golden brown, and/or you can hear a choir of angels.

Seriously, you guys, you have never tasted until you have tasted this pie.

I am not kidding.

The Wineberries are Here

So guys, life is hectic right now. Life is a little screwy, a little scary, a little bit too much to handle.

But screw all that, Eeyore, because the mother effing wineberries are here.

What are wineberries, you say?!

These beautiful things.

This is what we call hunter-gatherer porn.

Wineberries, AKA Japanese Wineberries, are a wild-growing relative of the raspberry that taste like success and harmony with the universe. The vines can grow up to nine feet in the proper location and have delicate red spines. They grow best in partial sun. Unlike the raspberry, wineberries are brighter, shinier, and have hard seeds. The season for wineberries is criminally short, a few weeks between late June and early July, sometimes mid-July. The wineberry is an invasive species to the eastern States, but pretty much nobody complains or cares about that, because these things are more delicious than any hyperbole the best English professors can come up with.

Okay, seriously, if you want a single-word description of what they taste like, I'd have to say HOLYCOWLEVELRAAAAUUGHSFKDGJHEWAUIDSKJHDF "Jazzy."

We have a huge group of vines that are growing very enthusiastically in an old compost pile in full/partial sun. For the past week I've been picking from them, and guys, this year is a freakin BUMPER CROP. I currently have 2 lbs of berries picked over the course of 4 days and tomorrow I am going to be baking a pie out of it. We probably still have another 2-4 lbs of berries coming in!

Anyway, if you have some wineberries in your area, I have suggestions from 11+ years of berry picking!

Wear jeans and boots.

Most wineberry plants will be found in the woods or along the perimeter of woods, as they grow best in partial shade. Therefore, in order to get the most bang for your buck, you're going to want to do some adventuring. Long pants and boots are great protection from the plants' spines and from ticks/mosquitos/poison ivy.

Smaller berries = tarter berries

Small, compact berries are okay, but most tend to be tarter in flavor and have a smaller flesh-to-seed ratio than bigger, plumper berries - even when super ripe!

Darker berries = sweeter berries

Especially true for berries of a large size, letting the berries ripen to a very dark red ensures that they will be the sweetest they possibly can. However, there's a fine line between a sweet wineberry and a wineberry that's lost all of its jazz. The best berries, in my opinion, still have some brightness to them.

Loose berries versus compact berries

Wineberries appear to have a scale of compactness. The most compact berries tend to be smaller and are always tarter, and usually found where the plants have competition with grasses. The average berry has a good level of plumpness and holding-together-ness. Some berries have massive levels of flesh around the seeds, and these do not hold together very well at all. These berries are almost always sweet, but they do not preserve very well and often get squished in your fingers when you pick them. I don't personally pick these berries for that reason, but depending on your taste, you may like them.

Do not be afraid of vegetation

On especially bountiful plants, many of the best groups of berries are found deep within a maze of thorny shoots and other vines/plants. You may have to step on some of the neighboring plants and move some thorny vegetation in order to maximize your harvest. They'll grow back, I promise.

Do not disturb the spiders

Wineberries attract certain nymphs that may or may not be related to aphids. When picking the berries you'll see alot of them - don't be afraid, they are easily crushed or flicked off. Many spiders flock to larger plant sites because of the abundance of these squishy guys. I always take care not to rip up or disturb a spider's web for this reason. The plants in our yard have few pests because there are numerous spiders and daddy longlegs chillin out in their leaves.

...Although it's totally cool to freak the f**k out if one of those gigantic garden spiders from hell decided to make its human-sized web around the berries you've mentally claimed.

SATAN.

Be careful with stinkbugs

Wineberries are also a favorite of the dreaded stinkbug. When you see a group of berries with a stinkbug around it, quickly flick the bug off and inspect the odor of the berries. If any of them have the strong scent of stinkbug stank on them, DO NOT use them for ANYTHING. You will probably never get the flavor out.

Refrigerating

A general rule of thumb with everything that you put in your belly is that the fresher it is, the better. Wineberries can be refrigerated for up to three days, but I don't suggest much past that. The berries begin to get mushy and the bold zing that they once had starts to be replaced with the flavor of refrigerator. Nobody wants to eat refrigerator.

So yeah, that's all I got right now for the wineberries. Stay tuned for food porn when I start making stuff out of my pounds and pounds of berries!

Art Foundation: Rite of Passage complete

Today was the day that all of the Art Foundation students were required to come in and clean up the Bowe Street deck facility, the home of VCU's AFO program.

I was late, I had the worst job of all the bad jobs - scrubbing the sinks. There is a reason why artists do not scrub their designated art sinks, and that reason is a dried conglomerate of paint, glue, paper mache, old paper towels, and objects of questionable origin. Artists. We cray.

But my time scrubbing and spit-shining those sinks was strangely zen. It was like my parting gift to a place that has dominated my artistic and social evolution for the past school year, from the very tumultuous fall months of 2011 to a refreshing spring semester in 2012.

So I'd like to pay a tribute to Bowe and the Art Foundation Program and, as my time as Sophomore comes to a close, recognize just how much I've experienced.

Bowe, I've had so many memories with you, from cutting open fingers with X-acto blades to making sketchy cross-cuts in the woodshop while the technicians weren't looking, from getting 2nd degree hot glue gun burns to carrying around 4'x6' wooden panels, from netflixing Star Trek: Voyager and Battlestar Galactica on long nights to making quick runs to the late-night Starbucks that was right around the corner.

You made me learn the joys of working barefoot and getting charcoal all over my feet. You grilled me silly in the Crit Room and taught me how to pull off the last-minute masterpiece. And yes, you showed me that you could LARP for candy in a parking deck and it would be totally normal.

Lets not forget that a round trip from Cabaniss Hall to Bowe back to Cabaniss is about 1.7 miles plus 30 minutes of a bus ride, and I made multiple trips to you a day. Thanks for making me walk so much. With that and my workout routine, I've lost 30 lbs!

So despite all the hard times and B.S. of Art Foundation, I will still look back and remember you fondly.

These are a few of the things I made in AFO:

One of my first Space Research projects, it is an orb composed of found objects. I wanted to explore the creation of a perfect sphere out of imperfect objects. I ended up exploring the negative spaces created by my armature instead.

For this Space project, we had to create an edible piece that corresponded with a color of the rainbow. My partner, Erin, and I got green. So we decided to raid Shafer of its green apples and carve skulls out of them and make it like a grotesque island paradise. Our actual "edible" portion came from skulls filled with caramel dipping sauce and bits of apple we had carved out, as well as a Fresca-and-lime-sherbet-punch. I heard the Indiana Jones theme in my head the entire time.

This is it - the infamous Floyd the Velociraptor that took up 80+ hours of my life. He is at a 1:1.5 size ratio and made entirely out of cardboard. I listened to quite a bit of Pink Floyd when constructing the armature, hence his namesake. Those bits around him are the long grass. Cue the scene from The Lost World!

Don't go into the long grass.

This here is my Surface Research final. It was a massive piece, a 4'x6' wooden panel made (foolishly) with 1/2" plywood and 2x4's. Naturally, it weighed about as much as me and I needed alot of assistance carrying it. It is of a deity involved in the menstrual cycle. Acrylic paint.

Going backwards in time, this was my first project in Surface Research: a composition made with 10,000 or more pen strokes. In this, I learned that I LOVE dip pens!

NOW we get into the fun stuff, the stuff I live for, the figure drawing! Drawing was possibly my favorite class, and drawing from the live model was barrels of fun. This is a large line drawing done in about an hour's worth of time with vine charcoal

In this drawing I used the "smoking" technique wherein you create a uniform midtone on your paper by rubbing vine charcoal all over, then going back with the vine charcoal to draw and using a kneaded eraser to pick out the highlights. This is probably my favorite technique because of the potential to play with muscle forms, and this is a good example of me doing that.

Charcoal study of a skeleton, which I am particularly fond of.

Art Foundation was a hell of a ride, but now its time for me to buckle down. Getting accepted into Communication Arts is the biggest thrill of my life so far, but I'll be damned if its not going to challenge the hell out of me. I'm ready to take it on - and I'm ready to become the artist I know I am.

So bring it on, next year! And Richmond, lovely Richmond, we'll be parting soon, but I'm coming back to you. In the meantime I'm going to miss the Thai restaurants, the hilarious gangsta Crown Victorias, the serenity of Belle Isle, the gorgeous walks around town that I revel in during my free time, and all the neckbeards I could possibly ever want.

Okay, the part about the neckbeards is a lie. But everything else is near and dear to my heart. Richmond, in a few months, I'm moving to you and my life will begin.

Peace out!

My First World Problem

So guys, something that's honestly quite superficial is bothering me and I need to rant about it.

To begin: I love driving.

And it only has a little bit to do with the feeling of freedom that comes with it. 

I love virtually everything about the driving experience! I love feeling the physics of taking a tight, winding road at just the right speed, the physics of acceleration, executing the perfect U-turn and the perfect slow stop, practicing my passive aggressive rage at tailgaters and drivers from Fairfax, rolling down my windows on a summer evening and blowing out my bass speakers with Sublime, everything! 

So what's the problem, you ask? Well, its more than just the simple inconvenience that owning and operating a vehicle is more expensive than the vehicle's worth (insurance, gas, repairs, etc.)

I live in downtown Richmond and can walk, bike, or ride the bus everywhere. So I haven't been able to drive a car in a few months. Soon I'm going to be borrowing a car from my parents for convenience sake, yet somehow the lovely Corolla S that I've been driving since high school doesn't feel enough any more. My driving withdrawal is starting to warp my road reality.

Being a physics junkie, I've come to a conclusion: I need a car that's fun to drive. I need a car that shifts smooth and hugs turns like a teddy bear, a car that handles like a dream; I need a two-doored, V-6ed, aerodynamic sex rocket, a car that makes me feel like I'm in a mecha-suit and should be spiking up my hair with glow-in-the dark chemicals while being the heroine of a badass comic book.

I need a sports car/sporty coupe.

It doesn't even need to be a freakin' Viper or Lamborghini. Hell, a 4-banging Celica or a douchey '96 Eclipse will do!

But the gas prices... OH THE GAS PRICES... and lets not even start talking insurance!

Its like the entire world hates it whenever I get an adrenaline rush from cruising down country roads. Its like it wants to beat the ever loving crap out of my aspirations to own and operate a combustion-engine sex machine.

In any event, I am determined to one day learn and master stick shift and own a fast, vrooming performance car so I can "get it out of my system" before age 40.... if I ever get it out of my system!

Here are some of the cars that are plausible for the near future, some that are currently flirting with me, and some that I will always pine after but probably never afford:

Scion FR-S

Developed by Subaru and Toyota and slated to be sold with Scion on the hood, a recent review I read of this concept car remarks that its like Toyota genuinely wanted to sell a car that's fun to drive. At first glance it looks just like any other sporty coupe right now, especially in the front, but we must remember that Scion is owned by Toyota, and that Toyota, along with Subaru, was developing the car. TOYOTA. The car company who, at least on this side of the world, is more invested in the wallet-conscious 30 year old market than the the hormone-frustrated 20 year old market. The fact that they've gotten this far at doing anything with a sports-type car is pretty cool news. Plus, with new cars being in the $24,000 value range, in a few years I may be able to afford a used one and get my kicks in!

'90s and 00's Toyota Celica

After hearing alot of good things about this quick little I-4, especially the manual version, my interest has been piqued enough to be more than a little hungry for one. For now they are affordable, but since Toyota retired the Celica line in 2004, the most recent Celica I will be able to find on the market is almost ten years old. Not only that, but people drive their Celicas into the ground. I'd be lucky to find one in good shape and under 120,000 miles.

00's Celica

'90's Celica

00's Mitsubishi Eclipse

Basically, the same appeal to me as a Celica (affordable sporty coupe,) but V-6. I'd say I kind of like the 90's Eclipses. Kind of.

'70s Datsun 280Z (Fairlady Z)

Of all the 1970s asian supercars, I am the most attracted to the datsun Z's. They are more attractive in person. My attraction to this car is mostly superficial, since I am codependent on power steering.

00's Nissan Skyline GT-R

A gangsta sports car with a helluva sexy butt. It drips with Need for Speed douchebaggery and requires a constant stream of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sublime, and Audioslave pumping from the sound system.

1996 Toyota Supra

If you know me, then you will know that the Supra does things to my subconscious that makes me want - nay, NEED - to kick ass.

I completely forgive it for being the Fast and the Furious car.

(any) Dodge Viper

When I was about 7, my parents were shopping around for a new vehicle. They took me along car shopping one day and we were in the showroom of the Dodge dealership in town. My young eyes saw a deep red Viper glittering under the spotlights, and, as something I could not describe got hold of me, I pulled on my daddy's hand and told him that we should seriously consider getting that car. The chemistry I felt for that vehicle stuck with me, though over the years has waned as my palate has expanded. My love of tight handling outweighs a craving for power, and the Viper is pretty much a 3,500 lb refrigerator tied to the neck of an inebriated V-10 hippopotamus going through a bad mid-life crisis. Still, its a VIPER, and the 7 year old inside of me can't seem to help herself.

00's Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera and '90s Lamborghini Diablo

I may have a slight history with the Dodge Viper, but I probably pine after this Italian Stallion even more. There's just something about the way a Lamborghini does its thing that I could never cast deep meaningful stares in the direction of a Ferrari.

I also have a few ridiculously detailed toys models of lamborghinis sitting on my desk. I occasionally roll them around and make vrooming noises like an idiot.

Scissor doors turn me on. I am a sick person.

The submersible Lotus Espirit from The Spy Who Loved Me

No i do not need to justify myself.

What about you? How do you feel about cars and driving?

Thoughts on: Diet and food

My thoughts about the body have expanded a little and after a month or so of the cogs in my brain turning, its time for me to start talking.

Despite my normal workout routine being interrupted by an unexpected closing of the martial arts room in my gym for incredibly asinine reasons, I'm still keeping my body as active as I can. My cardiovascular and musculo-skeletal system is probably in the best shape its been (the doctors at the VCU hospital remarked on my beautiful ankle X-Rays.) Yet my body as a whole still doesn't feel right. And I am positive I know why.

VCU's meal plan food is one grade above high school food. And about 3 cups more cooking grease per entree.

I even got sick from eating the lettuce.

The primary reason I'm still slogging through meals of fried meat filler is financial. That and the biscuits taste paradoxically good (like flaky, buttery blobs of compassion and goodwill towards man.)  I can also cram my face with as many brownies as I want for only 1 swipe.

I recently took a trip to the Kroger, which for me takes 30 minutes of foot travel and 30 minutes of GRTC shenanigans just to get there and back, and noticed something. Unshackled from the limitations of meal plan food, I go all out on stuff like this:

Jerky. Strawberries. Greek yogurt. Clementines. Strawberries. Protein shakes. Strawberries. Peanut butter. If I had my own kitchen I'd be adding broccoli, asparagus, fish, and probably more strawberries.

Which got me to thinking about how my body reacts to different foods, and what sort of metabolism I must have, and the composition of my diet. For example....

I love bread but it slows me down. Alot.
Red meat does the same. I'm finding more and more that I dislike red meats. I do love me some beef jerky, but the only reason why that tastes SO GOOD to me is that all the fat flavor and... wooziness... is out of it.

In fact that's how I'd describe the sensation I get when I eat anything high in fat content. I get woozy. I can't even look at a bratwurst without feeling it.

If I had my choice I would only eat gamey things for my meat serving. Venison, bison, grass-fed free range beef, rooster/capon. I just love the flavor of "having to run away from that thing with the teeth" and "get your own damn dinner, you hack." It makes me feel like I can wrestle a sabertoothed tiger with only my Xena war cry and low-budget screenplay writers.

My idol at 3 years old. I REGRET NOTHING.

And apparently neither does he.

Freshwater fish are cool. Catfish, trout, salmon, dried bluegill, its all good! But I still can't bring myself to like saltwater fish.
Shellfish are a completely different story though. Have you seen me plow through a pile of old-bay-encrusted blue crabs? I get enthusiasm cuts.
Tuna's good, too, I guess.

Sushi is love wrapped in a blanket of seaweed and wasabi.

Fruits, especially berries, make me incredibly happy. Somehow. I have difficulty controlling my fruit frenzy. Hand me a pound of strawberries and I will eat that stuff in under 15 minutes and then go on adventures.

The only exception to the fruit rule is red apples and oranges, because red apples and oranges are everywhere. Its like when DC101 and HOT99.5 overplays that awesome song you really liked.

You never fail to ruin Coldplay for me.

And... vegetables....
Cook them.
Carrots don't count. Eat them raw. EAT LOTS OF THEM RAW. TURN ORANGE. SHENANIGANS.
That is all there is to say about vegetables.

Cheese is the most delicious thing on earth and I have nothing bad to say about my processed dairy overlords.

Raisins are not food. They are the physical manifestation of loneliness and turmoil.

For metabolism: I am a slow metabolizer. A sandwich will keep me going for 6 hours before I begrudgingly notice the first bit of hunger. Even with high activity levels I can still work on 2 meals a day. Its probably not healthy, but when I listen to my body, I only eat twice a day. I only want to eat twice a day. I'm 5 foot 107 lbs. I don't have a whole lot of space to devote.

TL;DR

So pretty much my ideal diet is summed up by: cheese, fish, gamey meats, and fruit with the least amount of fat possible. When I eat like this, I feel happy and go on adventures with my low-budget screenplay writers and skimpy comic-con bodice.

So, how about you? Whats your body telling you to do, food wise? What sort of diet makes you feel the best?

Reactions to Tate vs Rousey

Lord I need to come up with better blog titles.

Anywhoooooo looks like Ronda Rousey pulled it off again (pun intended.) After four minutes into the first round and one botched arm bar attempt, Rousey managed to trap Miesha Tate in her signature move and forced a submission. Word is that Tate may have dislocated something prior to tapping.

Huh.

Looks like Rousey not only talks the talk but can indeed walk the walk, and Sherdog touted her as the new face of women's mma. I'm sure Carano doesn't mind. 

When asked by interviewers about her intimidation tactics and word battles with Miesha Tate on the buildup to this fight, Rousey stated that her intention was to get into Tate's head and ruffle her feathers to the point that the fight would become a personal matter. Apparently it worked; from the get-go, Tate appeared thirsty for a bloodbath and ran in guns blazing. Rousey, for all her talk, fought in a much more calculated fashion, and that may have been the key to this fight. Had Tate been more level headed and more polished in her throw defense and grappling, this fight may have turned out different.

Lets not forget, though, that Tate DID put up a good fight. At slightly over 4 minutes, this was the longest fight that Rousey has had in her MMA career, professional and amateur both considered. To top it off, Tate did manage to fight against Rousey's first armbar attempt and make the Judoka scramble a bit on the ground.

But, that should not draw away from the fact that Rousey really is a good fighter. The two key elements to her game, it would appear, are quickness and presence of mind. It doesn't hurt that homegirl has muscle without the need to juice *cough* Cyborg! *cough* Her Judo experience also gives her an edge against a stand-up fighter. Since the art is mostly made up of throws from standing, I'd venture to say that she is well-versed in ways to throw a kickboxer off balance. A taller opponent could probably keep her at bay with reach tactics, but Rousey is quick enough that she'd get inside and throw down.

---------------

Earlier in the card, Sarah Kaufman did indeed come up with a second victory in her rematch with Davis. The entire fight has been aptly described as a slugfest - both fighters were bloodied up and some great technical exchanges were made. The fight was decision, and though Davis had managed to take Kaufman to the ground and be in dominant position in the final round, she could not make anything out of it. Kaufman is likely to be the next contender in line to fight with Rousey. The kickboxer will likely not be as effected by Rousey's mind games as Tate - she is quite calculating in her fight style, perhaps even more than Rousey. Her ground game, though not her bread and butter, is solid to boot. It would be interesting to see how the two of them duke it out.

Personally, if Cyborg ever comes back and lays off the juice, I would LOVE to see her and Rousey fight. I think even off the 'roids, Cyborg is aggressive enough and powerful enough that the fight would be quite exciting. In fact, I'd love to see her in ANY fight without the juice. It would make for a much more interesting study in fight mentality and tactics. I am irritated with her as I'm sure ALOT of fans are, but I'll give her another chance. I'm nice.

But Cyborg, if you blow it again, please don't blame it on diet pills. We know better. Believe it or not your deltoids can say aloooot about testosterone levels.

...

On a similar note, did you notice how good and healthy Rousey looks at this weight? DAMN homegirl you should keep fighting at 135! Your abs are almost as enviable as Gwen Stefani's. Almost.

...seriously guys at 40 something with 2 kids, you've reaaally gotta give the Gwen some cred.